Diagnosis

Jan. 2008
Okay - I am new at this... I cannot even remember how to post using my user name & password! First I had to master the microwave, then the electronic keyboard for church and now this!
Who in the world would want read this anyway? don't we have enough to do before we stand and give an account as to how we ran this race...?

Africa is an interesting continent. I had no desire to come here - ever, and especially when I was praying to be sent as a missionary to someplace - but not Africa. God has taught me so much in these few short years. I'm so thankful that He opened this door. It is truly a privilege to serve and co-labor with Him here.
After we arrived almost 4 years ago, the Holy Spirit began to work me over. I had been a Christian for over two decades but here it was - God wanted something from me - something more. But I was busy; busy with ministry, busy with family and busy with sinners. - new converts - religious nuts.
So I ignored the gentle nudges and still small voice, after all I wasn't sinning. I was doing what I was suppose to be doing and then - "Whap" an interruption from the Holy Spirit. It was Passover... "Excuse me God, I am a Christian - I don't take note of Passover."
I dreamed. In my dream my husband and our congregation were readying for the Thief - He was coming and we were getting ready.
The Thief got past all of our preparations and showed up in our living room, surprising us. He didn't look like Jesus! He was dressed in a suit. As I recognized Him, I gushed, "I thought you were on our side!?"
I awoke very disturbed.
I began to wrestle with God in prayer - in my mind - through the scriptures. After several weeks I concluded - I am not ready for the Rapture! Jesus does not want me (anyone) to be caught unaware and my so-called preparations were falling short in light of scriptural warnings.
This was the 3rd incidence where God had gotten my attention during a Jewish feast time... I'm slow but the third time was the charm. God has a calendar!
That was a revelation.
Also, my meager understanding of God's plan and timing was no longer acceptable to the Holy Spirit. A conviction overcame me, that I wasn't digging into the Word of God as an older saint should. I had been living on spiritual rice and beans but God wanted to enlarge my table. Mediocrity was quickly becoming apathy which was in turn causing my relationship with God to be lukewarm. Unacceptable!
Sometime before the Holy Spirit kept prompting me to Revelations 3 and the warning to Laodicea. That was one reason I surrendered to become a missionary - I thought it would cure my spirit. But now, with this dream came another Holy Ghost prompting Revelations 3:1-3 Sardis!
Rev 3:1-31 "And to the angel of the church in Sardis write, 'These things says He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars: "I know your works, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.2 "Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God.3 "Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you.
So not only was I lukewarm but now God was mercifully showing me that my Christianity wasn't what it ought to be - faith without works is dead! Finally, although I periodically spoke of Jesus coming, I wasn't in the least sincerely expecting it.
The search for a cure began.